Specific Characteristics
Now you've formed a foundation for understanding autism, we can discuss the characteristics most people on the spectrum share that may not immediately be apparent. They include difficulties with understanding/using tone and sarcasm, body language, sensory processing differences, trouble navigating neurotypical social interactions, and more.
In this article I chose to move beyond the list of diagnostic criteria and into the differences that cause the most confusion or even friction between the autistic person and the neurotypical world.
In this article I chose to move beyond the list of diagnostic criteria and into the differences that cause the most confusion or even friction between the autistic person and the neurotypical world.
The point: People on the spectrum aren't necessarily going to pick up on nuances in tone and inflection. For example, my sister had a teacher who smiled when she was angry. Seeing her smile, Caley thought she was happy. The other students, however, heard the teacher's tone of voice and warned my sister she was quite angry. When talking to people on the spectrum, be clear and cautious of sending mixed messages. You can't assume they'll pick up on your tone of voice.
Sensory PROCESSING differences
Autistic people process sensations from the environment differently from neurotypical people. Sensory differences are most visible when it comes to light and sound, but sensory difference applies to every sense. For example, a person on the spectrum may not wear certain clothing because of their sense of touch or not be able to stand strong perfume because of their sense of smell. Sensory differences aren't always a bad thing. When I took an autistic child I cared for to the water park, I would sit back and smile because I could see the sensory joy he was experiencing splashing in the water.
This video clip shows how a trip to Walmart might be perceived for an autistic person. While it might not be very loud to us, it's quite loud and overwhelming to some people on the spectrum who are hypersensitive. And that's only exposing you to one sense - bright fluorescent lights come with their own challenges which are hard to replicate with a video camera. Another sense that can't be replicated is the sense of touch and smell, which can make the tag in your t-shirt or the perfume the greeter is wearing overwhelming.
Warning: If you have sensory dysfunction yourself, I strongly caution against watching this video.
Also, I know the preview picture is about Autism Speaks (which is something we'll cover later), but the video is not.
This video clip shows how a trip to Walmart might be perceived for an autistic person. While it might not be very loud to us, it's quite loud and overwhelming to some people on the spectrum who are hypersensitive. And that's only exposing you to one sense - bright fluorescent lights come with their own challenges which are hard to replicate with a video camera. Another sense that can't be replicated is the sense of touch and smell, which can make the tag in your t-shirt or the perfume the greeter is wearing overwhelming.
Warning: If you have sensory dysfunction yourself, I strongly caution against watching this video.
Also, I know the preview picture is about Autism Speaks (which is something we'll cover later), but the video is not.
The point:
An autistic person may be very sensitive to sounds and lights, even things that you and I might find completely ordinary. On the other side of things, someone who is hyposensitive might seek out sensory input - running into walls and banging things, for instance. Most people are hypersensitive to some things and hyposensitive to others. It's important to be understanding and respectful of such sensory differences. Understand that if a situation gets to be too overwhelming, an autistic person may experience serious discomfort and leave (or might experience a meltdown).
An autistic person may be very sensitive to sounds and lights, even things that you and I might find completely ordinary. On the other side of things, someone who is hyposensitive might seek out sensory input - running into walls and banging things, for instance. Most people are hypersensitive to some things and hyposensitive to others. It's important to be understanding and respectful of such sensory differences. Understand that if a situation gets to be too overwhelming, an autistic person may experience serious discomfort and leave (or might experience a meltdown).
Difficulties with Verbal Expressive Language
Difficulties with spoken expressive language are very common with autism. In fact, language delays were once required for diagnosis. About 25% of autistic people can be classified as "non-verbal." However, this is another term that is controversial because it is misleading, hard to quantify, and misunderstood.
For example, what makes someone 'non-verbal'? Echolalia - which means repeating or "echoing" others' words - is very common in autism. A person who displays echolalia may technically be verbal, but not in the sense that we ordinarily think of.
Likewise, 'non-verbal' may give the impression that a person cannot communicate. However, so-called 'non-verbal' people may communicate via pictures, sign language, or typing. And many take a person's lack of verbal expressive communication as a lack of understanding language or intelligence. Nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, I prefer to say people who don't communicate by speaking. It's a mouthful, so you can shorten it to 'non-speaking', which at least is more accurate than 'non-verbal', even if it, too, has some issues.
To give you an example of a person many would call "non-verbal" who doesn't fit many preconceived notions of what the term entails, I've included a video below. Make sure you stick with it until at least 3:15 of the way through.
For example, what makes someone 'non-verbal'? Echolalia - which means repeating or "echoing" others' words - is very common in autism. A person who displays echolalia may technically be verbal, but not in the sense that we ordinarily think of.
Likewise, 'non-verbal' may give the impression that a person cannot communicate. However, so-called 'non-verbal' people may communicate via pictures, sign language, or typing. And many take a person's lack of verbal expressive communication as a lack of understanding language or intelligence. Nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, I prefer to say people who don't communicate by speaking. It's a mouthful, so you can shorten it to 'non-speaking', which at least is more accurate than 'non-verbal', even if it, too, has some issues.
To give you an example of a person many would call "non-verbal" who doesn't fit many preconceived notions of what the term entails, I've included a video below. Make sure you stick with it until at least 3:15 of the way through.
Stimming
"Stimming," or self stimulation, is a repetitive motion or vocalization people do to self-regulate. Common examples involve hand flapping, rocking, or spinning. Many people also verbally stim, which means they might repeat the same phrase or sound over and over. Autistic people aren't the only ones who stim - if you've ever tapped your foot, doodled, or played with your pen, you've stimmed, too.
Most people with autism say stimming makes them feel better and more comfortable, and there's a great deal of debate over whether or not stimming should be accepted or trained away by therapies like ABA (read about the debate here). Most people on the spectrum tend to support stimming, while many parents and some professionals attempt to curtail or eliminate it.
Vicky Gleitz, an autistic adult woman, described what stimming does for her this way (republished here with permission):
"When I stim, happy becomes happier. When I stim, creatively, entire worlds in vivid detail pop into my mind. When I stim, scary goes away [or at least gets smaller] as does confussion. When I stim, I'm fairly sure that my IQ rises significantly. Just thinking about how so many want to inhibit our autisticness I get so angry, Thankfuly, I am able to stim when this happens. And that helps."
That is why most autistic people are against eliminating stims - because many say it helps them focus, navigate their environment, and feel better overall. And since it is not generally physically harmful, many autistic people see inhibiting stimming as an effort to force a person to hide their autism and, therefore, hide and be ashamed of what many consider to be an inherent part of themselves.
Caley and I strongly come down in support of the pro-stimming perspective, for multiple reasons. I've written an extensive post about this perspective, along with the ludicrousness of some anti-stimming experiences I've had.
Most people with autism say stimming makes them feel better and more comfortable, and there's a great deal of debate over whether or not stimming should be accepted or trained away by therapies like ABA (read about the debate here). Most people on the spectrum tend to support stimming, while many parents and some professionals attempt to curtail or eliminate it.
Vicky Gleitz, an autistic adult woman, described what stimming does for her this way (republished here with permission):
"When I stim, happy becomes happier. When I stim, creatively, entire worlds in vivid detail pop into my mind. When I stim, scary goes away [or at least gets smaller] as does confussion. When I stim, I'm fairly sure that my IQ rises significantly. Just thinking about how so many want to inhibit our autisticness I get so angry, Thankfuly, I am able to stim when this happens. And that helps."
That is why most autistic people are against eliminating stims - because many say it helps them focus, navigate their environment, and feel better overall. And since it is not generally physically harmful, many autistic people see inhibiting stimming as an effort to force a person to hide their autism and, therefore, hide and be ashamed of what many consider to be an inherent part of themselves.
Caley and I strongly come down in support of the pro-stimming perspective, for multiple reasons. I've written an extensive post about this perspective, along with the ludicrousness of some anti-stimming experiences I've had.
Following a Routine
The need for routine autistic people generally have tends to be rigid and the consequences of breaking with it are more serious. Routine is a way of lending predictability to an otherwise fluctuating and often scary world, which is why it's so important. This isn't actually a special autism thing so much as an anxiety thing, but the vast majority of people on the spectrum have anxiety disorders, so that's why it seems that way.
That need for routine varies from person to person. One might have a meltdown at the concept of changing the route they drive to work. Another might be fine with changing the route, but might be upset if their morning ritual was interfered with. In this, as everything, every person is unique. I put together a post with Caley about her need for routine which may help you understand it better - I recommend reading it here if you're interested.
To ease the pain of shifting routines, I use transition time with the autistic children I care for, employing verbal cues ("Five more minutes and we're going to go ____") and visual schedules. These are easy accommodations, and the amount of stress relief that they provide to the autistic person (and as a result, their caregivers) is huge. To read more about transition time, you can check out my post on the subject.
That need for routine varies from person to person. One might have a meltdown at the concept of changing the route they drive to work. Another might be fine with changing the route, but might be upset if their morning ritual was interfered with. In this, as everything, every person is unique. I put together a post with Caley about her need for routine which may help you understand it better - I recommend reading it here if you're interested.
To ease the pain of shifting routines, I use transition time with the autistic children I care for, employing verbal cues ("Five more minutes and we're going to go ____") and visual schedules. These are easy accommodations, and the amount of stress relief that they provide to the autistic person (and as a result, their caregivers) is huge. To read more about transition time, you can check out my post on the subject.
Eye Contact
People on the spectrum generally have difficulty making direct eye contact with others. It's incredibly uncomfortable for most, because it can feel aggressive and unnatural, even painful. Many develop coping techniques for dealing with the eye contact issue, my sister included.
For almost two decades, I could have sworn Caley was making eye contact with me...right up until she revealed that she was, in fact, looking between my eyebrows. It's a good enough illusion to be able to fool anyone she meets and it saves her discomfort. Others have trouble just looking at people's heads and may feel uncomfortable making extended eye contact with others' faces. The difference between eye contact and staring may also be difficult for people on the spectrum to grasp.
Eye contact is something many therapists try to train people on the spectrum to do. That said, there's a big debate about whether making eye contact is really helping the autistic person, or just helping society to feel comfortable with them. Before you judge either way, I'd suggest reading this forum discussion on the topic, in which people all over the spectrum (along with the original poster, who is neurotypical) discuss their thoughts about eye contact therapy. I particularly liked "Super Apsie"'s insights on page two and recommend reading. For your reference, Caley and I come down firmly on the side of respecting a desire not to make eye contact.
For almost two decades, I could have sworn Caley was making eye contact with me...right up until she revealed that she was, in fact, looking between my eyebrows. It's a good enough illusion to be able to fool anyone she meets and it saves her discomfort. Others have trouble just looking at people's heads and may feel uncomfortable making extended eye contact with others' faces. The difference between eye contact and staring may also be difficult for people on the spectrum to grasp.
Eye contact is something many therapists try to train people on the spectrum to do. That said, there's a big debate about whether making eye contact is really helping the autistic person, or just helping society to feel comfortable with them. Before you judge either way, I'd suggest reading this forum discussion on the topic, in which people all over the spectrum (along with the original poster, who is neurotypical) discuss their thoughts about eye contact therapy. I particularly liked "Super Apsie"'s insights on page two and recommend reading. For your reference, Caley and I come down firmly on the side of respecting a desire not to make eye contact.
Problems Reading Body Language
My sister explained her difficulty with reading body language this way. "Humans don't make sense. Animals follow rules that you can learn and remember. If a dog shivers, it's frightened, for example. But smiling doesn't necessarily mean a person is happy - the person can be fake smiling when they're really angry, for example. Similarly, crying doesn't mean a person is necessarily sad - they may be crying tears of joy." Basically, there are too many nuances and exceptions to rules to be able to memorize what body language means in people if you can't naturally "read" the language. That can make the world a very frightening place. My sister has said it's like walking on a minefield - she often doesn't know a situation is bad until it explodes on her because she can't read the cues.
The problems that result from not being able to read body language and other subtle clues can be compared to a lightning bolt seemingly coming out of an clear sky. You and I might see the dark clouds building and read the danger, but to a person on the spectrum who can't see them it can seem as though the lightning comes out of nowhere. In an unfortunate real-life example, my sister used to walk home with a group of kids she thought were her friends - until one day they threw rocks at her all the way home. They were never her friends, but she couldn't tell, didn't even know they disliked her. There are definitely body language clues leading up to these blow ups, but since she can't read them she can't prevent them from coming and it's a frightening shock when they do.
The point: Use clear words, not body language, to convey your message or feelings to someone on the autism spectrum.
The problems that result from not being able to read body language and other subtle clues can be compared to a lightning bolt seemingly coming out of an clear sky. You and I might see the dark clouds building and read the danger, but to a person on the spectrum who can't see them it can seem as though the lightning comes out of nowhere. In an unfortunate real-life example, my sister used to walk home with a group of kids she thought were her friends - until one day they threw rocks at her all the way home. They were never her friends, but she couldn't tell, didn't even know they disliked her. There are definitely body language clues leading up to these blow ups, but since she can't read them she can't prevent them from coming and it's a frightening shock when they do.
The point: Use clear words, not body language, to convey your message or feelings to someone on the autism spectrum.
Navigating Unspoken Rules
There are a lot of rules that are rarely, if ever, voiced that tell us what's appropriate in our day to day interactions. They control everything from personal space to topics appropriate for conversation. Neurotypical people just learn these naturally, but autistic people generally don't know them, can't read them, and have a great divining the patterns behind these rules, since rules that apply to one situation often don't transfer to another.
The point: People on the spectrum are invariably going to break a social norm at some point without intending to. When that happens, the key is for you to be understanding of the error. Realize their faux pas was likely unintentional and had no malevolent intent behind it, and move on.
The point: People on the spectrum are invariably going to break a social norm at some point without intending to. When that happens, the key is for you to be understanding of the error. Realize their faux pas was likely unintentional and had no malevolent intent behind it, and move on.
Trouble Detecting Inflection/Tone differences and Sarcasm
Not only can some people on the spectrum struggle with varying inflection and tone in their own speech, but they even more have trouble understanding the meaning of tones of voice used by others. Think about the simple word, "Hey." It's one word, but depending on the tone I use you can deduce whether I'm pleased to see you, angry, reticent to talk, flirting with you, or trying to alert you to something. A person on the autism spectrum might struggle with the same exercise, or be unable to understand it altogether.
This combination, along with a tendency to take things literally, also means that many people on the spectrum can struggle to catch when someone else is using sarcasm, as seen in the clip below.
Warning: There is mild cursing in the video.
This combination, along with a tendency to take things literally, also means that many people on the spectrum can struggle to catch when someone else is using sarcasm, as seen in the clip below.
Warning: There is mild cursing in the video.
Co-occurring Conditions
Often, symptoms we associate with autism aren't actually associated with autism itself so much as co-occurring conditions with autism: anxiety, ADHD, and sensory processing disorder probably being the biggest ones.
Co-occurring conditions are conditions that are commonly seen together, also known as "comorbid conditions". To use a more common example, most people are aware that heart disease and high blood pressure are frequently co-occurring. Likewise, autism has many co-occurring conditions which in some cases are so common as to be mistaken for being shared by all people with autism and others affect only a small percentage of autistic people but at rates that are much higher than the general population. While covering all of them in the detail they deserve would require a whole additional website, I've chosen to list some below and let you do the exploring on your own.
Some of the mental co-occurring conditions seen in people on the autism spectrum include:
Physical co-occurring conditions
Co-occurring conditions are conditions that are commonly seen together, also known as "comorbid conditions". To use a more common example, most people are aware that heart disease and high blood pressure are frequently co-occurring. Likewise, autism has many co-occurring conditions which in some cases are so common as to be mistaken for being shared by all people with autism and others affect only a small percentage of autistic people but at rates that are much higher than the general population. While covering all of them in the detail they deserve would require a whole additional website, I've chosen to list some below and let you do the exploring on your own.
Some of the mental co-occurring conditions seen in people on the autism spectrum include:
- Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
- Bipolar Disorder
- Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
- General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
- Depression
- Tourette Syndrome
- Prosopagnosia ("Face blindness" in recognizing others' faces)
- Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) - This is usually due to sensory processing problems making the flavor or texture of foods hard to tolerate. Note: Now that I'm an SLP, one of the professionals who treats this disorder, I would like to warn those seeking therapy for ARFID that that many feeding therapy types can be coercive, traumatic, and even worsen the relationship with food. So if you are seeking therapy for ARFID it's important to find a practitioner trained in a non-coercive feeding therapy, such as Responsive Feeding Therapy, or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Physical co-occurring conditions
- Various bowel disorders, especially Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
- Dyspraxia (developmental coordination disorder)
- Seizures
- Hypermobility spectrum disorders / Ehler's Danlos
- Sleep disorders
The Point
I can't tell you how many times I've been in situations growing up with my sister with people who knew she was Autistic, but didn't understand what that entailed. "Why does she wear that ratty jacket all the time, but she won't wear long sleeve shirts?" they would ask. "That's obviously not an autistic trait," they would tell me. Instead, they labeled the behavior as being "spoiled" or "willful."
Other times, people who know Caley is Autistic would come to me and tell me that they were having problems communicating with her. When I would ask if they'd talked to Caley about the problem, they'd say yes...but when asked at further length, it would be uncovered that they'd never verbally told her much of anything at all - they'd just used body language, dropped hints, and used tone to 'tell' her and (unsurprisingly) Caley never picked up on it. "But she should just get it by now," they'd tell me defensively, even angrily, as though there was a magic switch that she should be able to flip on.
After reading this page, though, you get it. Clothing choices are often defined by sensory issues others don't understand. Messages need to be clearly said in order to get across - if you're just using body language and tone (or even dropping subtle hints) it's like you're not saying anything at all. And, yes, an autistic person is likely to be accidentally offensive at some point, either by being too blunt or not reading an unspoken rule. None of these things are personal or simply 'quirks' that a person can control. They're just part of being autistic. And personally we all could learn a thing or two from them.
Other times, people who know Caley is Autistic would come to me and tell me that they were having problems communicating with her. When I would ask if they'd talked to Caley about the problem, they'd say yes...but when asked at further length, it would be uncovered that they'd never verbally told her much of anything at all - they'd just used body language, dropped hints, and used tone to 'tell' her and (unsurprisingly) Caley never picked up on it. "But she should just get it by now," they'd tell me defensively, even angrily, as though there was a magic switch that she should be able to flip on.
After reading this page, though, you get it. Clothing choices are often defined by sensory issues others don't understand. Messages need to be clearly said in order to get across - if you're just using body language and tone (or even dropping subtle hints) it's like you're not saying anything at all. And, yes, an autistic person is likely to be accidentally offensive at some point, either by being too blunt or not reading an unspoken rule. None of these things are personal or simply 'quirks' that a person can control. They're just part of being autistic. And personally we all could learn a thing or two from them.
Trouble with Empathy
Some of you may be wondering why I didn't list 'no empathy' in this article, considering that most sources frequently mention it as a characteristic of autistic people. In reality, because of the difference between how scientists and the general population define "empathy", this is almost more myth than fact, so you can read about it in the Common Myths article, which is the next article in this line up.
Up Next: Common Myths
Ready to learn even more about autism? Now that you're done with this article, learn to separate fact from fiction in Common Myths! Many myths about autism are so common as to be taken by most as fact, but in reality this breeds misunderstanding and harms autistic people. By reading the article you can help prevent these damaging myths from spreading, and learn some more about the true facts of autism in the meanwhile. Read on to learn more.
