Search the site...

Autism Spectrum Explained
  • Home
  • Introduction to Autism
    • Characteristics
    • Common Myths >
      • Negative Narrative >
        • Autism Controversies
  • How to Interact
    • Stigma & Discrimination
    • What to Avoid
  • Advice for Parents
    • Visual Supports
    • Autism Treatments
    • Explaining Autism to Kids
    • A Mother's Story
    • My Sibling Perspective
    • Autism Explained for Kids Site
  • All Kinds of Minds
    • Culture of Autism
    • Late Diagnosis
  • More
    • How to Assess Claims
    • What Causes Autism?
    • Additional Resources
    • Site Info & Feedback >
      • About the Website
      • ASE FAQ
      • Survey
      • Contact Us
      • Make a Submission
  • Our Blog
    • On Self-Advocacy
    • Trouble with Changes
    • Smoothing Transitions
    • Autism Speaks
    • Vaccines
    • Infantilization
    • Her Autism is Worsening
    • Stimming
  • Autism Tutoring
  • Home
  • Introduction to Autism
    • Characteristics
    • Common Myths >
      • Negative Narrative >
        • Autism Controversies
  • How to Interact
    • Stigma & Discrimination
    • What to Avoid
  • Advice for Parents
    • Visual Supports
    • Autism Treatments
    • Explaining Autism to Kids
    • A Mother's Story
    • My Sibling Perspective
    • Autism Explained for Kids Site
  • All Kinds of Minds
    • Culture of Autism
    • Late Diagnosis
  • More
    • How to Assess Claims
    • What Causes Autism?
    • Additional Resources
    • Site Info & Feedback >
      • About the Website
      • ASE FAQ
      • Survey
      • Contact Us
      • Make a Submission
  • Our Blog
    • On Self-Advocacy
    • Trouble with Changes
    • Smoothing Transitions
    • Autism Speaks
    • Vaccines
    • Infantilization
    • Her Autism is Worsening
    • Stimming
  • Autism Tutoring

Reader Q&A: Is stimming helpful or hurtful?

4/19/2015

1 Comment

 
I recently checked the comments on our blog, and found a question on one of our previous posts, "Stimming Has a Function". 

Basically, the mother was asking about the differing opinions she hears about stimming. Some professionals will say it's a bad thing and will keep her child from learning. Other people (like me in the article) say you should let your child stim. She felt stuck in the middle. She wanted to let her child stim, but she was scared that some day she'd look back and worry that stimming interfered with his learning process. I replied to her, but I thought this was something many of you may benefit from as well. So here's my response:

"Sorry it took me so long to get back to you - I don't get alerts for comments on the website, only on Facebook. I've heard it both ways, too, and it's hard. So what I did was I went on WrongPlanet.net, an online forum for autistic adults and I asked them what they thought about these claims that stimming was bad for them. I'd REALLY recommend you read through their answers: 
http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=254039

If you don't have time to read, here's the brief summary. They're pretty overwhelmingly in favor of allowing stimming. I particularly liked what Vicky Gleitz, who gave me permission to use her quote, said. "When I stim, happy becomes happier. When I stim, creatively, entire worlds in vivid detail pop into my mind. When I stim, scary goes away [or at least gets smaller] as does confussion. When I stim, I'm fairly sure that my IQ rises significantly. Just thinking about how so many want to inhibit our autisticness I get so angry, Thankfuly, I am able to stim when this happens. And that helps."

I hope this helps!!!!!!! Let me know if you have any more questions!"

What do you guys think? Do you have any concerns or questions about stimming?

-Creigh

1 Comment

Reader Q&A: It's okay to be sad sometimes

4/1/2015

0 Comments

 
I had a reader email me yesterday and, with her permission, I'd like to share our exchange with you all, because I feel like this is a common feeling parents can run into - guilt about feeling different about your child's future.

READER:
So I was at the park with my son yesterday, and a young man and his little brother arrived. My son was playing with some "typical" kids, all was going pretty well. He was playing with the young man and the little brother also. The kids he was playing with left on their bike and scooter, and my son got very upset thinking they were leaving/cheating/trying to get away from him fast - he didn't "get" that they were going home, though once he calmed a bit, he understood and was ok.

A little while later, the young man came over to talk, and asked if my son was autistic. I said yes, mostly shows up socially.

I noticed I felt sad, though - and then I felt bad for feeling sad - like I was betraying my advocacy for feeing sad. A strange spiral of feelings. I think the sad comes from me wanting things to not be hard for him, and knowing that although he's just himself to me, that the stuff that I find charming and just "him" is stuff that might separate him and set him up for difficulty/bullying/whatever.

Sigh. Am I awful, does this make any sense? Do moms go through this, even activisty-moms?

MY REPLY:
It makes complete sense, you're not even the slightest bit awful, and all moms - and other caregivers, like me - go through that. I've had those same feelings. And you know what? That's okay. Accepting your child for who they are doesn't mean that you have to be cheerful about everything that comes along with that, especially when that something is bad. And knowing your child is going to have a tough time at some points? That's a tough thing to deal with. I've been there myself, when I was nannying, and I get it.

Your experience actually reminded me of one of mine. My post was about something different - it was about feeling gratitude, rather than sorrow - but there's a common theme. We both had this idea that accepting someone on the spectrum for who they are should mean that we feel the same emotions regarding them as for neurotypical children. But their reality is different, when you look at societal treatment, and it's okay to recognize that. Here's the post, let me know if you relate:http://www.autismspectrumexplained.com/…/on-society-gratitu…

Creigh

READER'S REPLY:
Thanks! That helps a lot.

It is kind of sucky to think that we end up cheering because "yay, somebody's not a complete jerk!" Woohoo. tongue emoticon

Totally relate - I don't even want to think about middle and high school. Hopefully he'll find his geek-crowd - having the other slightly-off-kilter people as my social group was a life-saver. If you can't fit in, at least not fitting in with others that don't fit works smile emoticon

MY REPLY:
Actually, when you embrace how you don't fit in and embrace yourself for who you are, your quirkiness can actually add to your popularity. I know a lot of spectrum-y people who are popular for that very reason.

This is where you can come in and help, by raising your son to love himself for who he is. And you're doing a great job of that. smile emoticon



I hope this exchange helped any of you who were having similar feelings. Feel free to comment with your thoughts and questions below!

-Creigh

0 Comments

    About Creigh

    I'm a college student who grew up with my Autistic younger sister, Caley. I've got a bachelor's degree in Psychology and I'm currently studying for my Master's in Speech Language Pathology.

    Neither of those, however, have given me an understanding of autism. All of my understanding comes from learning from the many autistic people that I know. As a result, I have a very different outlook on autism than most, and a burning desire to tell the world what I've learned. This blog is one of the many areas in which I attempt to do that.


    *Note, none of these make me a professional, so advice I give is not professional advice.

    Top Posts

    On Self-Advocacy
    Difficulty with Changes 
    On Parental Guilt
    Transition Time!
    My Autism Speaks Story
    A Tale of Two Sensitivities
    Autism and Haircuts
    Cause of Autism
    Vaccines and Autism
    Happiness's Variations
    I Cannot Call Caley Cute
    The Power of Listening
    Her Autism is Worse
    On Preventing Bullying
    Autistic Parenthood
    Facing Discrimination
    Stimming's Function
    On Anxiety

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Accommodations
    Awareness
    Caley's Posts
    Cause Of Autism
    Change
    Controversies
    Creigh's Updates
    Different Not Less
    Empathy
    Kindness
    Listening
    Meltdowns
    Myths
    Parenting
    Presume Competence
    Reader Q&A
    Science
    Self Advocacy
    Stigma / Discrimination
    Stimming
    Understanding
    Word Choice

    RSS Feed

    Blog Info

    Starting about in March 2014, all of these posts are originally published on Autism Spectrum Explained's Facebook page, and later reposted here for archiving purposes and easy access for ASE readers, including those who don't use Facebook. 

    Archives

    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    February 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos used under Creative Commons from madmiked, Jim Larrison, Purple Sherbet Photography