Search the site...

Autism Spectrum Explained
  • Home
  • Introduction to Autism
    • Characteristics
    • Common Myths >
      • Negative Narrative >
        • Autism Controversies
  • How to Interact
    • Stigma & Discrimination
    • What to Avoid
  • Advice for Parents
    • Visual Supports
    • Autism Treatments
    • Explaining Autism to Kids
    • A Mother's Story
    • My Sibling Perspective
    • Autism Explained for Kids Site
  • All Kinds of Minds
    • Culture of Autism
    • Late Diagnosis
  • More
    • How to Assess Claims
    • What Causes Autism?
    • Additional Resources
    • Site Info & Feedback >
      • About the Website
      • ASE FAQ
      • Survey
      • Contact Us
      • Make a Submission
  • Our Blog
    • On Self-Advocacy
    • Trouble with Changes
    • Smoothing Transitions
    • Autism Speaks
    • Vaccines
    • Infantilization
    • Her Autism is Worsening
    • Stimming
  • Autism Tutoring
  • Home
  • Introduction to Autism
    • Characteristics
    • Common Myths >
      • Negative Narrative >
        • Autism Controversies
  • How to Interact
    • Stigma & Discrimination
    • What to Avoid
  • Advice for Parents
    • Visual Supports
    • Autism Treatments
    • Explaining Autism to Kids
    • A Mother's Story
    • My Sibling Perspective
    • Autism Explained for Kids Site
  • All Kinds of Minds
    • Culture of Autism
    • Late Diagnosis
  • More
    • How to Assess Claims
    • What Causes Autism?
    • Additional Resources
    • Site Info & Feedback >
      • About the Website
      • ASE FAQ
      • Survey
      • Contact Us
      • Make a Submission
  • Our Blog
    • On Self-Advocacy
    • Trouble with Changes
    • Smoothing Transitions
    • Autism Speaks
    • Vaccines
    • Infantilization
    • Her Autism is Worsening
    • Stimming
  • Autism Tutoring

On Society, Gratitude, and an Awesome Stranger

5/24/2014

0 Comments

 
When I was younger, or even two years ago, I never understood why my mother and other parents would be filled with such disproportionate amounts of gratitude for the tiniest acts of kindness others showed their autistic children. To be quite honest, I thought it was a bit offensive. After all, you wouldn't be grateful for someone treating a neurotypical child like a human being. Why be grateful the instant that child is autistic? To me, it implied the parents perceived their children were somehow defective or less worthy of good treatment.

In short, I was very, very wrong and owe those parents a giant apology. Because as a caregiver for a child on the spectrum, I have noticed myself developing that same overwhelming amount of gratitute for the kindness of others. Treat him well and I will be grateful. Play with him, and I will love you forever.

And now I get it. It's not about the child. It's about society. I see the child I care for as every bit as worthy of respect, kindness, and love as any other child. But I've learned, through caring for him, that other people don't always feel the same way. The lady at McDonald's who hunkered down and ignored him. The dad at the park who acted like he didn't want his child to play with the child I care for. The starers - not the ones with the compassionate eyes, but the ones whose eyes look at you in disgust and say, 'Why are you letting this child behave like that?' People seem to show their true colors more often, and WOW there are a lot more intolerant people in the world than I'd realized. It's disheartening.

But every so often, you run into someone who's the opposite. A person who sees the child on the spectrum as someone worthy of care and respect. Because having those sad moments, the moments where you see the darker side of how people treat those who don't fit it, makes the good people stand out even more. 

Two days ago, I had the fortune to meet one of those people. And I was just drowning in gratitude. The child I care for had been attempting to play with her boys (which is pretty cool in of itself), but they weren't playing with him. What did she do? She got a game started, with her and the child I care for on one team, and her boys on the other. She patiently coached him through the game, made one of her boys lend him a toy gun so he could play, too. It was a lot of effort for her, and she ran around with them (again, coaching the child every step of the way) for a good twenty minutes, and then helped the child climb up the ropes course. 

It was amazing and wonderful, and she didn't have to do any of it...but she did. And she wasn't just playing to play, or for the sake of her children. She did this because you could honestly tell she cared and it mattered to her that the child I care for had fun and a great experience. By the time we had to leave, the child I care for had been able to participate in a game with children his age way more complex than he'd normally be able to do, the mother was all hugs and love (as she'd been through the whole experience), and her boys were begging me not to take him home.

And that overflowing amount of gratitude I mentioned? Two days later I still feel it. And I am eternally grateful. My only regret is I wish there were more such people in the world; we could truly use them. The society I'm working for is one where these moments aren't out of the ordinary, where people understand autism and treat people on the spectrum the way they deserve to be treated. 

But in the meanwhile, I am very, very grateful.

-Creigh
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    About Creigh

    I'm a college student who grew up with my Autistic younger sister, Caley. I've got a bachelor's degree in Psychology and I'm currently studying for my Master's in Speech Language Pathology.

    Neither of those, however, have given me an understanding of autism. All of my understanding comes from learning from the many autistic people that I know. As a result, I have a very different outlook on autism than most, and a burning desire to tell the world what I've learned. This blog is one of the many areas in which I attempt to do that.


    *Note, none of these make me a professional, so advice I give is not professional advice.

    Top Posts

    On Self-Advocacy
    Difficulty with Changes 
    On Parental Guilt
    Transition Time!
    My Autism Speaks Story
    A Tale of Two Sensitivities
    Autism and Haircuts
    Cause of Autism
    Vaccines and Autism
    Happiness's Variations
    I Cannot Call Caley Cute
    The Power of Listening
    Her Autism is Worse
    On Preventing Bullying
    Autistic Parenthood
    Facing Discrimination
    Stimming's Function
    On Anxiety

    Categories

    All
    Acceptance
    Accommodations
    Awareness
    Caley's Posts
    Cause Of Autism
    Change
    Controversies
    Creigh's Updates
    Different Not Less
    Empathy
    Kindness
    Listening
    Meltdowns
    Myths
    Parenting
    Presume Competence
    Reader Q&A
    Science
    Self Advocacy
    Stigma / Discrimination
    Stimming
    Understanding
    Word Choice

    RSS Feed

    Blog Info

    Starting about in March 2014, all of these posts are originally published on Autism Spectrum Explained's Facebook page, and later reposted here for archiving purposes and easy access for ASE readers, including those who don't use Facebook. 

    Archives

    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    February 2014
    November 2013
    October 2013
    August 2013

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
Photos from madmiked, Jim Larrison, Purple Sherbet Photography