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Response to a Comment

9/4/2014

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So, there was a comment on a Diary of a Mom post (I swear, it's like that page is my second Facebook home) where someone asked for opinions on qualities that make for good special ed teachers. I read a lot of mentions on respecting what the parent says about the child...I read significantly fewer mentions of respecting what the child themselves communicates. Having read all that, here is what I wrote:

"I would like to add, speaking from personal experience as a family member only, respect for the kids themselves. Respect for parents is important in of itself, but that means little if you don't respect the child, too. If I made a list, presuming competence, respect (all around for everyone), and acceptance would make the top three. You'd be surprised how much that child is picking up - my sister is Autistic and has written some posts about the way people treated her when she was a child and even currently. [Note: This is the post I was thinking about when I wrote the comment:http://www.autismspectrumexplained.com/our-blog/presuming-competence-what-autism-professionals-need-to-know
] I swear, if those well-meaninged autism professionals and autism parents could have seen what was going on through her eyes, they would never have acted as they did...

And that, I think, is it. Empathy. It is incredibly ironic, I know, because consistently we're told that autistic people lack empathy...and yet the autistic people I know tend to have too MUCH empathy, not too little, and the people I am always begging for empathy and understanding from are consistently neurotypical. Empathy really is the key. Try to see the world through their eyes."

Caley read and approved this post and thoroughly agreed. She said that we should never forget to listen to the child in question, particularly when it comes to sensory issues (which seems to be an especially big empathy problem, as Caley and I have experienced: http://www.autismspectrumexplained.com/our-blog/a-tale-of-two-sensitivities). She said "Just because you can't feel how uncomfortable the clothing is trust what the child says. Just because you don't smell/hear something don't think the child is lying. Don't get mad at us for overreacting to sounds, etc to us it often isn't a an overreaction."

I guess you can distill those words done into some basic qualities that, from personal experience, Caley and I have grown to see as the most important. Accept. Listen. Respect. Presume Competence. And above all, have empathy. This list doesn't just apply to special education teachers working with autistic students, or even autism professionals working with students. These are the keys for everyone interacting with an autistic person, or any disabled person, or, even, for that matter, any human being. Now what we have to do is make sure that list is put into practice...

-Creigh
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    About Creigh

    I'm a college student who grew up with my Autistic younger sister, Caley. I've got a bachelor's degree in Psychology and I'm currently studying for my Master's in Speech Language Pathology.

    Neither of those, however, have given me an understanding of autism. All of my understanding comes from learning from the many autistic people that I know. As a result, I have a very different outlook on autism than most, and a burning desire to tell the world what I've learned. This blog is one of the many areas in which I attempt to do that.


    *Note, none of these make me a professional, so advice I give is not professional advice.

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    Starting about in March 2014, all of these posts are originally published on Autism Spectrum Explained's Facebook page, and later reposted here for archiving purposes and easy access for ASE readers, including those who don't use Facebook. 

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Disclaimer: The author of this website is a  speech therapist, NOT a psychologist, and frequently writes based on personal experience. As a result, advice given here may not be completely accurate and may not apply to everyone. The author readily admits to having a lot left to learn. In addition, most of this website was written before the author became a speech therapist and is thus not written from a professional perspective. This website should not be used in place of a professional. The author is not responsible for the content of other websites for which links have been provided, nor content from other contributors.
Published: 3/09/2013
Last Updated: 11/14/2017
Photos used under Creative Commons from madmiked, Jim Larrison, Purple Sherbet Photography